everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He kissed a someone with a penis
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
