I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
