I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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