I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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