I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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