I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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