I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize