so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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