Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
