hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in the fireplace
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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