The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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