I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ttyl tear gas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
