this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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