For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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