I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
