Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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