They should really pass out barf bags in church
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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