OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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