I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
