so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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