One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
