I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
