Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
