I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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