I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
