Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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