Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
