Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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