I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
