Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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