he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
