Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
