Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
