Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
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you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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