Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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