rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
