so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
