i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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