Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
