how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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