no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
