dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
