Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
