dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
