i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize