Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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