What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
