I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
