Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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