Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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