there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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