check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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