Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
