I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
