The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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