I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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