sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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