Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
