this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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