Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
