where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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