Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
