can u get pink eye on your cock?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
