I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
